Sense of style comes from within

I’ve got a new writing gig on style for the Huffington Post. Three times a week I look at high fashion, low fashion, news, personalities, and unconventional ways of looking at style.

As an Italian, style is in my blood. My family jokes that when I was born, I was wrapped in a Versace blanket, instantly developing an affinity for fashion. These days, my budget is more Target than Versace, but fashion is about a lot more than just price tags.

In fact, I’ve often wondered what style means in the larger sense of the word. What does it mean in a specific time and place? What are some of the cardinal rules of being stylish? Is there such thing?

Some would say yes. Others would say that it depends on the situation and the definition of style. If by style we are referring to high fashion, Hollywood parties, then, yes, latest designer dresses are a must.

But if we’re talking about the majority of people how do we find our style?

For example is there an unwritten code when it comes to ball gowns for military functions? Or just clothes to go to the gym? How about to go grocery shopping? Heck, is there a military wife style?

I asked a few friends and writers in various parts of the world to tell me what they think about their own style and the style of the place they live in. It’s interesting to see that everyone perceives style in different ways. A writer who lives in Italy told me that while Italian men are supposed to have style it seems too homogeneous and therefore not really stylish, but just conformism.

When my relatives come to visit in the U.S. they have similar impressions.

They tell me that people seem to dress the same. Men especially wear khakis and T-shirts and either sandals or sneakers without much color.

A sporty look, but similar to many others.

I don’t think that style is about being different for the regular person but it’s about being comfortable in our own skin. Style can have more to do with attitude than with clothes. Sometimes the outer appearance, the clothes, the shoes are a result of the attitude and the mood one is in. And that’s a form of style too.

OK, there are some dos and dont’s (some color combination are truly atrocious), but in general, style is more than your clothes, make up, or accessories.

I would say that seeing Marines in uniform, standing tall and proud is an example of a style that’s both internal and external. Looking at a homecoming with children and families dressed their best for their loved ones arrival (even if the colors don’t match and the outfits are wrinkled from the heat) is another example of style, a kind of style that comes from the inside.

Sure, some tips can help. A good moisturizer helps your skin, cool sunglasses make you look sharp, a necklace can be fun and shoes can make you feel like a queen.

When I feel really happy I wear long flowery skirts. I know that some of them aren’t the cool thing to wear at this particular fashion moment, but I include a nice shirt and flat sandals and a little make up and I feel very stylish in my own way.

As my grandmother told me ‘stile’ is on the inside. The outside will follow when you know who you are and what you want.

Anita Tedaldi is a freelance writer, mother of five and wife of an Air Force pilot. Contact her at: anita@anitaovolina.com