Important to respect differing opinions

There are people who respect other people’s ideas and ways of doing things, and then there are people who insist that their way is the only way to do things correctly.

I’m periodically exposed to this second set of individuals, the “my way or the highway” bunch. Their inability to see that not everything works according to their views is reflected in basic dealings including handling of a dishwasher.

Let me introduce you to my dishwasher, or as I affectionately call her, BW. She’s been in our lives for a long time, and at first glance there’s nothing unusual about her. It’s an average-looking dishwasher like a gazillion others out there.

The only thing that makes her stand out, thus the reason for naming her BW, is that she’s a temperamental appliance. You can’t just load her up and assume that she’ll do her job. BW’s got high standards, and requires that each glass, plate and silverware item be thoroughly rinsed because she doesn’t like too much debris.

I can’t say I blame her, and everyone in my home knows about BW’s temperament and deals with her just fine.

In fact, I think we’ve grown fond of her precisely because she makes us work to get what we want. Even my mom and dad, who hail from Rome a few times each year, get that any time we place anything into BW, we’ve got to rinse it.

Now when someone comes to my home, I never ask my guests to help with the dishes. If they insist, I thank them for the offer, explain that BW isn’t easy and do the dishes on my own or with my kids’ or husband’s help.

Usually people’s worth isn’t linked to filling a dishwasher, so no one cares all that much, and guests are more than happy to sit down and chat, or go on about their business.

Everyone is content except for these strange visitors who periodically come to my home and seem to be unable to accept the fact that BW is a bit different than what they’re used to. Their sole mission is destroying BW.

For years now and under the false pretense of wanting to help, they’ve attempted to sabotage and wipe out BW. Their MO is always the same.

They offer to help, insist that they really want to do the dishes and nod when I explain for the thousandth time that they must rinse everything, otherwise BW will go nuts. Inevitably, when I go to check on BW, I'm horrified to find inside her chicken bones, turkey legs, plastic bags, dishes so dirty that any even-tempered dishwasher would refuse to perform.

It’s almost sad, but mostly annoying, that these visitors refuse to acknowledge BW’s uniqueness and fail to see that it would only take rinsing the dishes before putting them in for everything to go smoothly.

And of course my temperamental dishwasher is just a metaphor to show that my visitors just cannot understand that sometimes people do things differently and that they have to learn to respect my home and my family’s way of doing things.

Luckily I’ve got my kids’ help now, and my oldest daughter has caught on to the visitors’ MO and has also tried to minimize the damage.

Don’t worry BW, you’ve nothing to fear; the kids and I will watch out for you for many years to come.

Anita Tedaldi is a freelance writer, mother of five and wife of an Air Force pilot. Contact her at: anita@anitaovolina.com